A New Order
by witty kitty01
Summary: Darren and Harry are making a alience between wizards and Vampires. set in Order of The Pheonix, so who will beleive them? for any dumbasses that haven't clocked on, it's a Harry Potter/ Darren Shan crossover
1. prolouge:vampire pranks and jokes

**EVERYONE ELSE WAS DOING ONE!!! :) Set in between nine and ten in Darren Shan, he went back for some time with the vampires at the mountain. Book five (the order) in Harry Potter. May contain some glitches **

I crept, quietly as he could, into Gavner's room. The vampire had been asleep in his coffin for two hours, so he would definitely be asleep. I heaved the heavy rock behind me, and bought it up to the lid of the coffin with trembling arms. It would keep the lid closed .stiffilling his giggles out in the corridor, I wondered what would happen- would Gavner call out for help? Or maybe he'd just wait for someone to walk in on him. Or perhaps-

"DAREN SHAN!"

Crap, how did they find out so fast, as I saw Seba walking towards me.

"Ididn'tdoityoudidn'tseemedoitcan'tproveANYTHING!!!!" I said in a rather high voice. But then he saw Seba's face wasn't angry. Shat.

"what? I was just coming to tell you we needed you to come for a meeting. Have you done something?"

"noooo! No,no,no, NO. Just walking down this corridor. Not doing anything. Just being innocent old me." Seba narrowed his eyes. "a meeting, did you say? Well then, pip pip!"

And with that I marched off down the corridor.

...........

"magic?" I asked wryly.

"yes ,Daren ,magic." Arow sighed. "it exists."

"yeah? Well so do pixie, fairies, gnomes, dragons, werewolves and vampi- " I paused for a second "oh YEAH!"

" yes Darren they exist, and a old friend of mine has contacted me. He wants to make a alliance between the Vampires and Wizarding world. They, too, are at war. But they're government don't believe.."Ii won't bore you with the details of what Paris said. Basically, had to go to Paris's friend's school.

"..and then I have to make them see that i'm just a normal guy, so they should support ..Albus's? uh, decision. And then I have to help their star boy- Harry- and then hop skip back here?" I asked with a small laugh. "piece-of-cake."

"hmmm.. well best get packing. You're going with Gavner. Speaking of which where is he?"

My eyes flew open wide "AHSHAT!!!"

.........

I didn't have much to pack- Mr. Crepsley always said that the most valuable things to have weren't objects. I had two battered diaries and one on the go. I grabbed a few extra. A new passion I had stumbled upon when I was grieving was drawing. But that was it.

Gavner knocked at the door and marched in. His expression would have killed a small puppy.

"ahhhh! Gavner! My best buddy- not like Seba.. he's always making...rum...ors...ah ha..ah he.." I trailed of under Gavner's glare.

The wizarding world was lucky to receive me- I may have died on the journey!

...........

I said bye to some Vampires . I took Paris to one side and asked "why send me? I know I could bond with the kids , but a adult could've done that."

Paris looked so sad for a second, I was frightened. "you need something to take your mind off Larten." He slapped my shoulder and said "off you pop. What was your phrase? Ah, yes, 'pip pip!'"

It would be good to spend some time with some kids that were UNDER a hundred.

...........

"vampires?" Harry frowned.

"yes. Dumbledore is friends with one . and apparently they aren't monsters.." Sirius described them, and they reminded Harry of Lupin and Hagrid- a gentle giant. "... they're sending a member of their leadership team- Darren Shan. They said you two would get on." Sirius shrugged "so he'll go to Hogwarts with you and prove vampires are good. Or something. He's coming today."

Harry thought that this was a lot of information to receive in a hour. Why hadn't Dumbledore told Harry himself? Why hadn't he, Harry, been told sooner?

The day wore on ,and he, Ron and Hermione continued to clean the house, and talked about the vampire coming to stay .Fred and Gorge now had enough fuel for half the year.

"Three vampires went into a bar and sat down." Fred grinned as they had a break for lunch

"The barmaid came over to take their orders. "And what would you, er,

gentlemen like tonight?"" Fred continued

"The first vampire said, "I'll have a mug of blood.""

"The second vampire said, "I'll have a mug of blood.""

"The third vampire shook his head at his companions and said, "I will

have a glass of plasma.""

"The barmaid wrote down each order, went to the bar and called to the

bartender, "Two bloods and a blood light."" The two of them fell about laughing while Ron and Harry snorted. Hermione scowled.

"don't act like that! I bet you'd be mad if he made jokes about wizards."

"ah, don't worry about joke about wizards ,Hermione." said Fred

"yeah, we got loads of those." said Gorge

"For example: say , Fred, what d'you call a wizard who wears glasses and has a lightening bolt scar on his forehead?"

"i don't know, Gorge, what DO you call a wizard wearing glasses and has a lightening bolt scar on his forehead?"

"doooooooooomed!"

At that they all laughed.

.......

When the doorbell Ginny was the quickest down, followed by Fred. They wrenched the front door open, almost of it's hinges. There stood, back turned, was a boy with brown hair, falling delicately round his head, making him look like he stepped out of a manga picture. He was well built, and defiantly had some hidden muscles.

" what?! D'you have a problem with humans or something? Cause, buddy, i'm still half, so if you- oh yeah, flit away, you.." grumbling he turned around and started. "oh! Hello."

Ginny backed into the hallway, beckoning him "come in, come in!" Darren obliged and stepped in, closing the door carefully behind him.

Mrs. Weasly, who had been shutting the drapes over Mrs. Black's portrait, bustled towards him. "Hello! Come into the kitchen dear!"

Darren, feeling warmed by the homeliness of the situation, followed.

**OMG CLIFFHANGER!!!! WILL DARREN MAKE IT TO THE KITCHEN!? Ah... maybe not. Can i sugest that if you like this you check out 'a change of destiny' and 'the only cure' which are two AWSOME fics. Better than this dribble. Reviews anyone? Darren AND Harry will give you a hug. If you don't, i'll pelt you with snowballs. Mahaha.**


	2. angry orange fluffy things

S E C O N D C H A P T E R L A U N C H *boooooommm!*

I just wanna say, whoever reviewed, nearly killed me. I was just going about my normal business on , and then- 6 REVIEWS?!? This IS my story, right? HOLLY CRAP! And then I choked on my tea (PG tips if anyone is interested. In fact, when I opened my tea tin, there were these weird fancy teabags, made out of silk, I kid you not. I went on a whole adventure to find some PG tips.) redbatrox, EEP, Wolf Seeker, moonlightbear and PedroCullenBloomTM were responsible for that near-death experience. THEN the next day three people make me fall of my chair- The-Sadist-Of-Them-All, Scott Evilton (luvz ya xxx) and VampirePrince4ever.

OH SNAP last time I forgot the most important bit of any Fic; the bit where the writer says something witty and funny to get the party started; words that stay in the readers mind all day; the most liable bit in the whole thing; if one word goes wrong, everything seems stupid; the beginning of everything IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!!!

I do not own Harry Potter or Darren Shan.

*silence so stunned even the crickets can't say anything; it was that much of an anti climax. Even the creators of millennium point are shocked. Chavs everywhere have just, for once, fallen silent. Wind is blowing yet more snow on top of us.*

So... here it is! (Written under influence of haribos. No pun intended.)

........

I came into the kitchen, and sat down. The room should have been gloomy- there was only one source of light, a fire, and some tobacco fumes seemed to be lingering in the air- but it was so much more... HUMAN. After almost six years of living in mountains and tents, it was nice to be in a house. With walls. And a roof.

"Sorry it's a bit untidy..." said the round woman with red hair apologetically. She seemed to be very house proud, and it must have killed her seeing a house so dirty.

"No, no... It's better than what I came from!" I replied politely.

"Jeez, that MUST have been a dump. I mean, not in a bad way." The girl who opened the door had sat down beside me, and was now blushing. Cute.

"Nah, it was a dump. All candles and rock. Bleh." I grinned at her.

"Rock?" some other people had joined the table, and a boy with red hair and freckles (much like door girl) frowned.

"It was a mountain. I mean, it was nice, don't get me wrong. But too rocky."

"Darren? I was just putting some soup on, d'you want some?"

"Umm, yeah, thanks..."

"Good, good... kids! Come and help!" most of the red heads went at this point, leaving me with two teens, and four or five adults.

"So, did you have a good journey?" a black haired boy with glasses said politely, trying to kindle conversation.

"Yeah it was good... um...it's Harry, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

"Sorry, they didn't give me any names..."

"Oh, well, those over there are the Weasleys. Basically, anyone with red hair. That's , the all cleaning, all cooking, all mothering wonder woman. And then the girl is Ginny, the youngest Weasley, but don't let that fool you, she can be very scary when she wants to! The twins are Fred and Gorge, I'd watch out for them, they are SUCH wind ups... then there's Ron...and this is Mr. Weasley..." he leant over and shook my hand.

"And i'm Sirius, Harry's godfather." A handsome man, but with haunted eyes, shook my hand.

"Remeus Lupin" a man with an old face on his young one nodded at me.

"And i'm Tonks." Tonks had hot pink hair, and seemed the most normal of them all. "Sirius' cousin."

"Hermione." A girl with really, REALLY bushy hair.

"Well-"I began, but before I could complete my sentence, my mouth dropped open, as a dozen bowls of soup bobbed down the table, unsupported. Harry watched my expression in amusement.

"Woah! How cool is this!" I exclaimed, much to everyone's pleasure. A bowl stopped in front of me, and I grabbed a spoon and tucked in. It was great, way better than bat broth.

"Mmm, Mrs. Weasley, this is the best food I've had in AGES!"

"Well you obviously haven't eaten enough!" she blushed at the compliment "but you DO look rather peaky..."

"Well, mom, he probably does miss out some sunlight..." one of the twins (Gorge?) Winked at me.

I laughed at that, but I was about the only one who did. Hermione, Ginny, Molly, Arthur, Harry, Ron were all smiling awkwardly, but Sirius, Remeus, Tonks and the twins all chuckled. Well, chuckled. Sirius's laugh was like a dog's bark.

"Awesome laugh, Sirius!"

"Yeah well he does transform into a dog..." the other twin said airily, watching my face.

I wonder if they thought my facial expression was always one of utter amazement. "Oh God you are JOKING. Ah, man that is so awesome!" I shook my head "any other bomb shells?"

"Lupin's a werewolf, Tonks changes her appearance, Sirius turns into a dog, Harry survived the killing curse, which NO ONE has ever done and he was only a baby." Fred said in one breath.

I stared around the table for a bit, and then whimpered "explain?"

"When I was a boy I was bitten by a werewolf. I thought that my whole life was ruined- but then Dumbledore offered me a place. I made friends, with Sirius actually. And James, Harry's dad. When they found out about me, they didn't renounce me. They did something I'll never forget-"

"We became Animagi. We could switch into one animal at will." Sirius took up the story. "I transform into a black dog."

"And i'm metamorphmagus. Watch." She squeezed her face and her face was replaced with Sirius's, but with his features distorted. Everyone laughed.

"I am much more handsome than that!" Sirius snorted "anyway, enough of us being weird, what's it like being a vampire?"I noted he had diverted attention from Harry. I would ask later.

I suddenly felt embarrassed about being a vampire, but I cast the feeling away- taught me to be proud of who I was. Still, it would still be awkward- explaining what was myth and what was true. But it would be better to get on with it.

"Well... i'm not a full vampire, i'm still half human." I started, my mouth dry, "I don't need as much blood as full vampires, and I can walk around in sunlight. Full vampires would die, but slowly. Full ones can't be filmed and cameras and I only come out as a grainy image. Something to do with atoms? Whatever. And then basically half of full vampire's abilities- strength, speed, but i'm still better than humans. I can waltz into any old house I want, and I can't turn into a bat. Crosses, garlic and holy water don't have any effect." Then I needed them to understand something "And Vampires are not evil. We never kill any innocent, and we don't kill when we drink from humans."

An incredible uncomfortable silence followed my words. Then Hermione spoke up:

"So... How does the whole...um...Blood thing... work?" she asked hesitantly.

"Oh, well, a full vampire breaths out knock out gas on a random guy... then they make a cut and take a sip. But we only need a little, just to keep us going. Then, a full vampire uses saliva to seal up the cut, and then the person wakes up, and then carries on as usual. Well, that's the traditional way, but I just use a syringe."

"Does it have to be drunk?" Sirius asked

"Yeah." There was silence for a bit, while people processed this information.

"How do you become a vampire?"

"If you're planning on becoming one, I recommend you don't." I said bitterly, thinking of Ron as a vampire "you have to be blooded by another vampire, and become they're assistant. In return, they'll teach you how to be a good vampire and protect you while you grow into a full vampire and be your mentor." Memories of flickered in my mind, but I shut them off.

"Who was your... mentor?" Remeus asked quietly.

I looked at my hands and mumbled "he died... about a year ago."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"So was I."

"Why did you become a vampire?"

"It's a long story"

"Long night" Fred countered

"It's a painful one." I said, throwing him a cold glare, which he visibly cringed from.

"Are there many vampires?" Mrs. Weasley changed the subject.

"Yeah, about three thousand or four thousand. All boring, over hundred years. Technically, I shouldn't have been blooded, I was too young. I hang out with this person- little person- called Harkat. We always pulled pranks on the vampires." I remembered what I'd done to Gavner before we came. "Hah, the other day, I put I huge rock on top of this guy's coffin, he was livid at me..." Fred and Gorge sighed muttering "utter genius", and the awkwardness was lifted and we all laughed.

"Oh!" gasped "do you sleep in a coffin?"

"Sometimes, but they remind me too much of my funeral." More quizzical looks. "I mean, a bed would be great."

"Speaking of, it's time you all went up!" said. "Darren, you'll be in Harry and Ron's bedroom."

"Thank you for the food, it was lovely." I said politely, and followed Ron and Harry, grabbing my bag from the hall, where I dropped when I came in.

The room had a bunk bed and a single. Harry and Ron were occupying the bunks, so I dropped my bag on the single. I looked around the room, and my eyes fell on to some owls in a cage, hooting quietly. Well. One was the other one looked like it was hooked on speed.

I strode across to him and poked my hand through the bars to the tiny speed-owl. It was like (sorry for the cliché) magic. The tiny owl dopily waddled over and peacefully snuggled into my hand. Behind me, Ron and Harry blew out low whistles.

"Hast thou slain the annoying twerp?" Ron asked in a posh voice.

"Huh?" I asked, turning around, taking my hand out of the cage in the process. Almost immediately, the peaceful owl was speed-owl again. "Nah, I just have a way with animals. Another fascinating vampire fact for you."

"Really? All animals?" Harry asked

"No, not really, but some. Like bats and wolves, we're THAT close. But then darn cats really hate us. Dunno why... didn't do anything to them... stupid..." I tailed off, still growling about cats under my breath

"Wait till you meet crookshanks..." murmured Ron darkly. I let out a yawn which Ron and Harry pouted at.

"Awww, is the ickle vampire Darren shweepy?"

"Shadap." I fell into the bed, and snuggled into the blankets. So much more snugly than coffins.

"Night night" Said Harry

"Sleep tight" Ron said

"Don't let the Ba'Helen's bite" I finished groggily as I drifted off to sleep.

.......

Darren was so normal! I peered over to look at him sleep. He was frowning slightly muttering something about ''. His eyes were strange: they seemed too old for him (maybe he was older than he looked, being a vampire. I made a mental note to ask him) the way he changed at dinner when he was talking about vampires. It was like he was scared we'd treat him like an animal.

But I knew, better than most wizards that it wasn't what species you were, as long as your heart was true. (Heck, I'd been hanging out with the sorting hat for too long) and Darren was honest, and a world away from the monster muggles talked about.

Which was why it would be annoying to spoil the normality with –well- my messed up world. I was incredibly grateful when Sirius spared me from explaining my complicated life to him. It would come soon, but at least it was delayed.

.......

"Rise and shine!" Harry shook me gently. I sat up, rubbed my eyes and got my Barings.

"So, what're we doing today?" I yawned as we went down the stairs

"Tidying, tidying, and then, if we're lucky, CLEANING." Ron said cheerily, behind us, waiting for Hermione to come out of her room.

"Sounds awesome..." I muttered

"You say that word a lot" Harry frowned

"Ah man, isn't it cool anymore?" it had been many years since the word was in fashion

"Well, no... Speaking of, Darren, how old are you?"

"Vampiric- sixteen, what's it look like?"

"Vampiric?"

"Two ways of measuring age. Earth- actual years and Vampiric- how old in terms of vampire years"

"How old are you in Earth years?" my mouth went dry. Would this be the end of another friendship?

"You youngins' are so rude... back in my day, we'd be caned for such cheek..." I said in an old man voice. I looked at Harry. Harry looked at me.

We both burst out laughing.

.......

The first thing I remember when I walked into the kitchen was pain, on my leg. Something orange and fuzzy with claws and sharp teeth was very angry at my leg.

"AGGGGGGGAAHHHHH!" Darren howled in agony "WHAT, IN THE NAME OF THE VAMPIRE GODS, IS THIS!"

I tried shaking it off without hurting it, but it sunk its claws and teeth in harder. By now, half the house was coming to see what the commotion was all about. I hopped around the room whimpering and howling. Somewhere in the blur I heard Ron say "I knew putting a vampire and Crookshanks in the same room wasn't a good idea!"

"NOOO LET IT STOOOOOP!"

"expelliarmus!"A jet of red light hit a teacup, frightening the angry orange fuzzy thing with claws and teeth which was very angry at my leg to Hermione's arms.

"Who," snarled the new comer with greasy hair, looking at me as though his hair problems were all my fault "is this?!"

.........

DUNNNN DUNNN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! So this one actually IS a cliff hanger with the 'new comer' (ominous music) hating Darren (fanfare) for no reason, while Darren (fanfare) is recovering from the attack of the orange and fuzzy thing with claws and sharp teeth which was very angry at his leg. (Cymbals)

Wheee it's a musical now! So, to see that you were all paying attention, I have devised a quiz. Please post your answers in a review. So here we go:

.What is my favourite tea bag? (Hey! No one said it had to be in the actual chapter!)

. What is 's soup better than?

.Who does Tonks metormorph into?

. How many vampires are there?

. What did I call pigwidgeon?

. Who was Ron waiting for on the stairs?

. What was the orange and fuzzy with claws and sharp teeth which was very angry at Darren's leg?

. Why am I asking all these questions?

The person who gets the last one gets to SNOG- I repeat SNOG- Harry or Darren. Or Hermione or Ginny. Pick wisely- kiss Harry, Ginny will hex you. Kiss Ginny and Ginny hex you. Kiss Hermione and Ginny hex you. Kiss Darren and she'll probably hex you for the heck of it.

Fare the well, young warriors! *salute*


	3. Dark Magic

(song time!!!from the mulir adverts..WHATS IT CALLED?! One of those annoying moments where you know what something is, but it's like your brain says "NOO! THIS IS A PUNISHMENT FOR NEVER INVLOVING ME!!!" embarrassingly, it once happened when I was on the phone to my bezzie. It was awkward) I don't own Harry. I don't own Ginny. I don't own Ron. I don't own Herms. Yeah, what've I got? Why am i alive anyway? Yeah, what've i got, that no one can take away?

I GOT MA HANDS, GOT MA LEGS...

*dancing*

ARE YA READY KIDS??? (aye aye cap'n!)

...

Previous...

"Expelliarmus!"A jet of red light hit a teacup, frightening the angry orange fuzzy thing with claws and teeth which was very angry at my leg to Hermione's arms.

"Who," snarled the new comer with greasy hair, looking at me as though his hair problems were all my fault "is this?!"

......

The grease ball coked his head to one side; still scowling so hard I doubted he'd ever be able to put on a normal expression.

"ummm, Darren..." I raised a eyebrow "and you're..." I was sure the gang had told me who this guy was muttering under my breath, I ran through the information they had given me the other night. "Never heard of shampoo, hating all of creation, and pale skin making him- SNAPE!" on the last word I raised my voice in triumph at finding his name.

"Darren, as in the VAMPIRE?" he spat it out, splitting the word into two syllables 'vamp' 'pire'

"Yes, as in the VAMPIRE. And not only as in, as out, as round, as down and as any other way you can think of."

"A vampire is vampire, end of story." What was this guy's problem? He swept past me, towards Lupin, looking like he had something important to say. To important for us mere mortals, making it lucky that I wasn't mortal!

My ears twitched slightly, as I sat and ate my toast, oblivious to the conversation abusing Snape that the gang was carrying out, and listened to Snape's rather more interesting one.

"... and I will not teach him!" Snape said venomously

"Snape, you're the only one who's had dealings with them."

"You have as well."

"But not as... intensive as you. It would be best-"

"I am not teaching him. Leave it at that. You can. I'm sure you'll be able to sympathise with him. Just remember- Vampires are beings of magic. Darren will have his own brand of magic, like house elves and dragons. He will discover his magic, in time. Try putting a magical object near him that may awaken it. Then he should just say the incantations and use whatever body part for the movement of the spell." With that, he strode over to the door, throwing me a look of disgust as he went. Some people have real issues.

....

Harry was shocked at Snape's reaction to Darren. The look Snape gave Darren was the one which was reserved for himself and Lupin. What could Darren have done to deserve the look of doom?

"He's a slimy, ugly ,big nosed git." Ginny offered her curse.

"pah! That was pathetic! How about, a snivelling pathetic loser who's going to enter a 'weirdest nose' completion." I jumped in.

"That's rubbish Harry! How about-" Ron began, but called us over to go to the library. Darren hadn't seemed to be listening, but jumped up with the rest of us, only to be told to sit down again for 'crash course in wizardry'. As I left, I wondered how Darren would do magic without a wand.

"right, just start sifting through the books, if it isn't something to do with dark magic, we can donate it to the Hogwarts library or-" Sirius glanced at Hermione "-or you can give it to Hermione." She beamed. Sirius raised his eyebrows "okay, that was a joke, but now I mean it..."

Me and Ron started on a bookshelf with Ginny. We continued our 'who can curse Snape best' game. In fact we were having a great time till I opened a black book, its title missing.

Out of it's pages flooded- darkness. I yelled and dropped it, but more of the blackness poured out. ran over to us, grabbing Hermione, Gorge, and Fred on her way. She raised her wand above us and said something I couldn't make out- there was a wind picking up around us, blowing bookshelves down. A bubble surrounded us, protecting us. But Sirius was outside it.

I watched helplessly as my Godfather battled desperately against the shadow, which had now arranged itself into a human figure. Sirius raised his wand, the tip of which was lighted- but the one light wasn't enough.

....

"Right, we're starting on the library today folks!" herded the gang out into the hall. "Oh, not you, Darren. Remeus is going to give you a quick crash-course in wizardry." I sat back down.

"Darren?" Lupin called from across the table. I turned round to face him. "Right, i'm not sure how I can go about this..." he examined my face, with a frown on his face. Then, he shuffling his chair round to me, he placed a stick on the table. This was most likely a magic wand. "Try picking that up."

Feeling rather self conscious, I picked it up.

My finger tips felt it first, and then they curled it towards my palm. And as it passed, I felt a tingling and a sense of euphoria. The rest of me seemed to be asleep, and only my hand was truly alive. I dropped the wand

"woah!" I breathed, and dropped the wand in amazement. I flexed my hand, and as I did, a spark flew of. I gasped and looked up at Lupin, who was smiling encouragingly.

"Right.. Well, in a wizards or Witches case, we use wands. They're the thing which gets the magic out from inside of us. But it seems you are more natural without one. Now, let's try some spells." At this I felt exited- I'd been looking forward to this bit! "Try saying lumos."

Clearing my throat ever so slightly, I said "lumos." My hand suddenly shone bright white, lighting the room up shockingly. I squeaked, and then when the shock had passed, I laughed in delight. Lupin let out a small chuckle.

"Very good! Now, let's try... reducto. And this time, point your hand at the floor." I did as he asked, wondering why. As I whispered the words, I became apparent. My arm almost jerked back with the force of the spell. It hit the floor, making a black mark.

"AWSOMENESS!" I grinned gleefully. Lupin grinned at me. We continued some more spells- Accio, Expelliarmus , impedimenta, Wingardium Leviosa

"Well, that's the basics, but now for some history..." Lupin hesitated and licked his lips. "You know what, ask Harry and the others. Did they say they were going to the library?"

.............

After many wrong turns, stumbling into things and breaking things, I found the I put my hand on the door knob, I sensed something was wrong. As I entered into the far too cold room, I couldn't quite comprehend the sight in front of me.

Ginny, Hermione, Ron, Harry, Gorge and Fred were cowering behind , who was casting some sort of shield round them all. In the centre of the room, Sirius was pointing an illuminated wand tip up at –what was it? It looked like a shadow, but it took up nearly all of the room, and it wasn't being cast by anything. Books were flying everywhere, and Sirius obviously couldn't hold the shadow-creature off much longer.

"LUMOS!" I leapt in, vaulting a over-turned bookshelf. The light pulsed from my hand, but it still wasn't enough. I looked over my shoulder at and jerked my head at the shadow. Perhaps three lights would destroy it?

She glanced at the group and then at the twins. She bit her lip then whispered something- I couldn't hear it for the wind- and Fred and Gorge joined the cause.

That did it. The light was blindingly white, and there was a loud pop, and the shadow exploded into wisps of gas. The wind dropped and the last few pieces of paper settled down. I glanced around to see the damage.

The bookshelves were scattered round like a line of fallen dominoes. The books that they had been holding were strewn on the floor, some of the old ones had fallen to pieces, and random pages drifted down, settling.

"What the ruddy hell was that?!" Ron gasped, clambering to his feat

"It looked like incredibly DARK magic" quipped one of the twins. We all rolled our eyes.

...

The gang and me skived of work, all of us claiming to be too traumatised to continue. Rolling their eyes, the adults grudgingly agreed. We all lounged in our room, chatting about wizard gossip: who was going to win the quiditch European cup (quiditch?) if the weird sisters were splitting up (say what sisters?) who would teach defence against the dark arts (which language had they switched to?)

"Guys! Three things: one, what, two, the, three, hell?" I interrupted.

"Oh! Well, Helena had a argument with Jessie's boyfr-"Ginny began

"No, I mean, i'm new to all of this. Lupin said to ask you lot about wizard history. So, come on, spill!"

"Well, wizards and witches live all over the world, in secret. If muggles (non-magical people) found out, the effect would be manic. So it's a secret. We've got a government- Mr. Weasley works there. Tonks and kingsley too. The ministry are basically supposed to protect the magical community."

"Hogwarts is the main magical school in Britain. Subjects include history of magic, potions..." Hermione guided me through the magical world. She obviously didn't know me, as she didn't touch on the subject of the war or Harry.

Hey, Hermione, wanna tell me anything else? Anything i should know?" I asked when she finished. She just looked awkwardly at Harry. He cleared his throat, and spoke. It was a sadder , heavier voice

"Fifteen years ago, a wizard turned pure evil. He used magic in the darkest of ways possible his name was Voldemort.-" The whole room, took a collective shudder, while Harry rolled his eyes -"then on Halloween, he came to me and my parent's house. He killed them" Harry's voice went quieter. "Then he tried to kill me.

"It didn't work. Nobody knows why or how. I don't know either. Voldemort got the force of the spell, but somehow he survived to. He was weak but... he's finally returned."

Empathy for Harry coursed through me. His story was- a tragedy. Empty words of sorrow wouldn't bring his chance of a normal life back, so I didn't say anything. I just dropped my gaze, sighed and shook my head.

"Why are the vampires at war?" Harry breaking yet another amazing awkward silence. The question made me smile.

"Why not? Vampires are utter nutters, they love danger and violence. Most of them don't hit sixty. I suppose they-we- get bored of life when there's so much of it.

"Our cousins, the vampaneze, broke away from the vampire clan centuries ago. They didn't agree with many of our ways- consumption of blood the primary one. They drain a person dry and kill them. The vampires tried to wipe them out. But both clans were on the brink of extinction. So we agreed on a treaty.

"and that would've been that- if it weren't for a bastard called Desemod Tiny- formally known as Des" I slipped Des's nickname in, wondering if anyone would figure out the message of his name he came to the clan and prophesised that one day, the vampaneze would have a champion who'd wipe us out..." I continued the history of the vampires, missing the parts about me and Steve.

"And where do you come into this?" Ginny asked.

"erm... you know the vampire princes?" they nodded "well..I'm...uh kinda one of them..." at that there were a lot of shocked faces, blinking, mouth opening and closing. I held my hands up "I know, I know... yeah the other princes sent me here to get the wizards and vampires join forces against both of our enemies."

"Darren, another thing, why do you talk about the vampires like you're not one of them?" Ron asked.

That hit hard. Hermione elbowed him, but the damage was already done.

Not human. Not vampire.

"Well... All of the vampires are older than me, and I haven't had a chance... they don't really..." I tried to get my thoughts gathered. "It's a lonely life. Being a vampire. It's not for kids. I'm the only vampire under twenty that's been blooded. I get on great with them, sure, but... You need people your own age." I swallowed.

"Why would you do that?" Harry frowns at me. I shake my head. "Come on, I told you my secret."

"Drop it Harry!"

"But why?!" Harry's green eyes had the same kind of curiosity that led me to become what I was today.

"Shut up Harry, or I swear by the blood of the vampires I'll lock you in a cupboard with kreacher till you die!" at the sound of this terrifying threat, Harry shut up. But it would only be an amount of time before he began questioning again.

....

And slowly, I slipped into a new way of living- alive. Everything was a blur in the first few days, because I was still on vampire time. But everything fell into place, from sidestepping a twin's prank, practising magic or just lying round the place.

The way they got their post was amazing! Owls flew in and out of the house, though everyone complained at how little owls were allowed in and out. But one morning, a very special letter arrived. Addressed to me.

My first thought was sarcastic "well at least somebody knows i'm alive" then a desperate "oh no! How the hell did they find out?!" then, as I picked up the letter, "ooohh it's from another wizard..."

I frowned at the list of objects. Essence whatty- what- whatness? I called Hermione over.

"Herms, translate this gobldygook please."

"It's the stuff you're going need at Hogwarts. I think we're going to Diagon Alley today..."

"Diagon Alley?"

"Magical high street." Hermione explained.

.....

Harry, Me, Ron and Hermione were sitting outside florean fortescue, and I was eating a cookie crunch. We had browsed the shops with a huge fellow by the name of Hagrid, who was several times bigger than a normal sized person. He stayed by us, like a body guard. But then he said that another order member would take over soon, and that he was to drop us at florean's.

My favourite purchase of the day was a pet for Hogwarts. It was called a Jobberknoll, and was a tiny blue bird. It's feathers were used in memory potions, and at it's death it will let out a scream made up of all the noises it heard during it's life. But till then, it'd be silent. I called her Larkspur.

Though the others hadn't realised it, the order member was already here. It was Tonks, but she seemed to be caught up with flirting to some guy. Not wanting to be a killjoy, I didn't call her he pulled out a slip of parchment (presumably to write his... what wizards use for telephone numbers?), his sleeve pulled up, and I saw it.

A Skull with a snake coming from his mouth.

The dark mark.

So that was the reason I was on red alert before I spotted the two figures.

They were both wearing black cloaks. One was taller than the other. They were looking at a caldron display in the shop window, but I could tell they were just looking at our reflection.

"Harry, Hermione, Ron, Don't respond. There are two people over there looking at us." The others continued eating their ice cream, laughing like they hadn't heard my warning. "I can see an order member near us. I'm going to go over and fetch them. Stay here; use the table as a shield if anything happens. Got it?" I slid out of my chair, and started towards the order member, but then my eyes locked onto the shorter member of the duo.

I froze.

It was Steve.

........

UNREALTED SHOCKING REVALATION- CADBURRYS! The last good thing 'bout England. Boring place to live in now. Mind you, we do have the ability to laugh at ourselves. Meaning other people.

REALATED SHOCKING REVALATION- STEVE! Well, did you expect me to leave a easy plot thickener? Who am I, Darren blimin Shan? (ooooohhhh... well, i'm not. This is the copyright notice. I don't own him. DONT' MISINTERPERT THAT!!!)

Theres gonna be a big duel/ fight thing next time. now, to finish, seeing as the quiz was so popular last time (and made you review like mindless sheep.) here's another one!

.what did Harry call Snape?

. Which room were the gang clean/tidy?

.what was Darren's pet? (extra points for colour and size)

.What was Darren's pet name?

.What display were Steve and co. Looking at?

.Who did Darren threaten to shut Harry in a cupboard with?

The only person to get full marks was Scott. SHAME ON ALL OF YOU! I now know that you WERE NOT PAYING ATTENTION, cause that was the reason i was quizzed you!

When asked, Scott declined kissing anyone and then Ginny whom was outraged at not being picked, employed a bat-bogey hex. Haha Scott. (just showing that Brits can still laugh at peoples miser- ah i mean ourselves.)

*winks*


	4. A pretty bad School reunion

SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY

I am a bad, BAD author. BIG SHOUT OUT to tiger phantom (I know I said I'd put another chapter up, but her card turned up so of we went.)

HOWEVERHOWEVER there are some bizarre, interesting, and rather confusing and appalling reasons and circumstances as to why I didn't write : well, it all started at my Dad's Girlfriend's house.... (ten pages later of whining and explaining why I couldn't write later) ...and then I was late for my cat's tea party, because I was telling him how to scare them all away!

But hear, ye, hear ye! To compensate with being such a naughty writer the pairings are being announced! Read this first, and i'll see if you can guess before I tell you.

NOW GO! READ TO YOUR HEART'S CONTENT!

Steve's eyes burnt with rage. Blame, hate, resentment- they were all there, smouldering. The brightness and mischief that had once shone had gone, and were now the eyes of a full grown man. Perhaps even more mature.

I felt hypnotised by them. Terrible though they were, I couldn't break eye contact. Like the staring contests we'd had when we were younger.

_When we were human_.

I always lost them.

My eyes were burning, and I ripped my eyes away. I glanced over to the trio, and shot Harry a meaningful glance : get ready.

I made to go and sit down with them to regroup, but someone yelled a incomprehensible word, and a purple jet of light flew past my head. Harry, at lightening speed, dropped to the floor, tipped the table over and dragged Ron and Hermione with him.

Trusting Harry to keep himself and the others out of bother, I spun round to face Steve. Tonks was duelling the decoy death eater, and a old Wizard reading a newspaper was fighting against the one accompanying Steve. I wondered weather he was a undercover member of the Order, or just a brave citizen. That left Steve to me. Des Tiny was a jerk.

Locking sights onto to Steve, I cried "Reducto!" Steve dodged , the spell hit the shop display, and he bolted halfway across the street, using his vampaneze power.

Switching to half magic taught to me by Lupin, half battle tactics taught to me by Vanez, I gave chase. I yelled spell after spell, arms ricocheting backwards from the force of some. And yet Steve wasn't fighting back. Well, not with magic.

He ran up a wall, and wrenched the shop sign off the wall. He grabbed the wood off, and hurled it at me, while fashioning the metal into some kind of weapon. I cast around for something, and saw a wrought metal table.

It wasn't what I'd usually pick for a weapon, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Steve leapt down from the wall, and swung his make-shift weapon at me. I blocked him, and pushed him away.

"Steve! Don't do this, you don't nee-" I began, but he cut me off

"sure, I don't NEED. I want to!" he snarled, with a manic glint in his eyes. I knew I couldn't reason with him, but after hanging around with some normal teens, I'd wished there could be another way. And also- he couldn't say I didn't give him fair warning.

we continued our battle and across the square Tonks let out a triumphant cry, as her opponent fell down, unconscious. She ran across the square to me, yelling spells in front of her. Steve growled, and saw the battle was lost. He called across the square:

"Nook! It's no use! Apperate, I'll follow!"

I didn't know what 'apperate' meant, nor did I care. All I knew was that Steve was going to slip through my fingers again. He smashed one of my spells away with his pole.

"see you later, Shan." and with that, he pushed through a crowd that had gathered, and burst of down the street.

Tonks had made it to me, and had only enough time to gasp "what the-" before a sped after Steve.

The phrases people were throwing at me were lost in the wind whistling past my ears. Baskets of potion ingredients went flying, and the colours around me blurred. And yet I still couldn't reach Steve, hopelessly chasing a leopard.

"_he's gotten faster"_

I would've shot a spell at him, but the G-force rendered my arms useless. How could I catch him up? Maybe if I-

WHAM

next thing I knew I was flat on my back, in a pile of apple cider and cinnamon.

"That'll teach you young hooligans!" a old wizard shook his fist at me. I struggled to my feet, and stared at the man who'd stopped me. He was tinny.

"... in my day we would-" but exactly what the old wizard did on his day I never found out, because at that precise moment Tonks appeared, clinging to the back of a large, black dog whom was probably Sirius.

"Darren! Are you okay?" she gasped, getting to her feat brushing herself down.

"I could ask you the same!" I raised my eyebrows at her transport. "Y'know, some people just run, but sir- ah, snuffles has his merits."

Sirius barked, as if proud of dragging Tonks through several alleyways, and (when I looked down the path they'd come through) causing general mayhem and chaos.

But as I continued to look back through the path of destruction we had caused, I saw a golden bird in the sky above the square. Tonks followed my eyes.

"oh yeah, I should get rid of that.." she whipped out her wand, and pointed at it and whispered: fyrsperanza the bird closed it's wings and shot of to the sun.

I said something intelligent like "Abuh?". Tonks just shook her head and muttered

"Later. Let's get back home."

after trooping in, with Tonk's neon pink hair looking like Ron's section of the bedroom, Sirius's tongue flopping out of his mouth with a dopey grin on his face, and me with singed clothes and numerous cuts, Mrs. Weasley almost exploded with motherly compassion.

"DARREN! TONKS! SIRIUS!" ah well, at least she wasn't so shocked she didn't forget our names. "I was worried sick, who sounded the alarm? Why where you late? Who was it? What happened?" I just trudged over to the rest of the gang, who lest up as I approached. Hermione spoke first.

"was that vampiric skills? When you were going all blurry?"

"umm... yeah, I suppose. Were you guys alright?"

"yeah, we got a few splinters from that guy who threw the sign at you, but we're good. You?"

"I'm cool." I flopped down on a armchair and sighed.

_'that guy'_

_ was he doing with a death eater? Was he..._

Realising that the others were looking worried at my musings, I sat up and asked about the gold bird.

"it's a phoenix, actually. You know how the death eaters use the dark mark?" I nodded "well, it's the orders equivalent." [1]

"what, it's branded onto them?!" I yelped in alarm.

"no, but they all have a connection, like a string of emotion that contains them all. So when someone starts the chain of -like Tonks did- most of the people at headquarters immediately apperate at wherever the phoenix appears."

I glanced over at Tonks, Mrs Weasley and Sirius, who were all waving there hands angrily. "I thought Sirius wasn't supposed to go out of the house." the others looked over anxiously at said dog, frowning or chewing their lips.

"he... I think he may have somehow affected the spell, because this is his house, and made Mrs Weasley stay here." Harry guessed.

"...and now they're arguing about getting it fixed."

"yup." Harry said miserably.

"maybe Dombledore will keep it the way it is?" at this, Harry scowled and looked incredibly pissed.

"yeah MAYBE. And maybe he'll-" he broke off realising he was venting out loud. "So Darren... who was that guy you were fighting? You looked like you knew him." he changed the subject. To the worst one for me.

I think I may have winced, then went red, then sighed and gone back to wincing. My mind cast around for a destraction "you guys still haven't worked out the Des Tiny thing!" I blurted out. First time I was thankful to Des. "keep thinking!"

Hermione mouthed 'Des..Tiny' then squished the two words together, and her mouth fell open and she gasped.

"no way! Don't be ridiculous." I shrugged.

"hey, what? What I miss?" Ron pouted at her. Hermione grinned smugly as the rest demanded to be let in on the secret. Hermione grinned:

"Des...Tiny. Destiny." ah, this trick never got old.

"so.. is he...?" Harry asked, after they all finished practising their fish impressions

I shrugged again. "he comes with prophices and gifts that shape whole species. He's old as anyone can remember. When you look at him- in his eyes... I dunno. Some don't believe he is."

"do you?"

"seeing is believing, right?"

"you did know that guy, didn't you?"

Harry's inquisitive voice drifted through the darkness of our room towards me. I rolled my eyes, even though he couldn't see me. What excuse to present this time?

"and don't lie" he added. Could he read my mind? "just spill man! Look... we could have a better time if I knew your past. I don't get any privacy on mine. Please?"

I considered this. It was true. Harry had a past of tragedy, and everyone knew about it. At least I could decide who I told.

"...okay. That guy was Steve..." the words flowed from my mouth: the perfect family and life, the danger that threatened it, Steve's betrayal, and (worst of all) Mr. Crepsley.

" and now. Now I have to kill Steve. My best friend." I sat up and looked at Harry, and shook my head hopelessly. " the guy I gave up being human for! How can I do that? How?" I asked, tears appearing in my eyes. Harry got out of his bed and sat on mine, looking me in the eyes.

"you won't do it alone, Darren. I promise. I'll help." he swore.

"and I you." I held his passionate gaze. "I'll help you kill Voldemort."

neither of us knew the line of dominoes we had just tipped over, nor the adventure, danger and looses we would face as a consequences.

On the day of departure to Hogwarts, the house was pure chaos.

Darren thanked his vampiric speed that he could zip from room to room, carrying and fetching heavy items. Fred and George sent trunks zooming all over the place, and I caught Ginny as one bumped into her.

Crack owl and Hedwig hooted, the orange angry fluffy thing hissed (well, at me) and moody was yelling. So basicly, complete havoc.

Mrs Weasley was telling Sirius off: "you've already bent the rules once, you can't do it twice!your puppy dog eyes won't work on me!" Sirius made a bid for freedom when Harry and Ron were slipping out of the door, but was restrained by some kind of invisible force- Dumbledore had updated the protection system.

Sirius switched into his human form, and scowled. He slammed his mothers portrait, which immediately began to wail on and on.

Hesita grabbed me and the girls, and we walked into the brilliant sunshine.

"Poor Sirius..." Ginny looked back at the house.

"don't worry, he'll come round." Hesitia smiled reassuringly at her. "C'mon, let's get going, the others will be along soon."

we set off along the streets of London, and after a refreshing walk, we arrived at the station.

"uhm... where's the train?" Hermione just said to follow her lead.

"what, are we just gonna walk through a wall to it?" I asked sarcastically as she pulled me over to a ticket barrier.

Five minutes later I had my trademark 'Oh-my-God-what-just-happened-oh-it-was-MAGIC face on again. Ron and Harry called us over.

Every one had turned up to say goodbye/tell us not to die/give huge hugs and sandwiches. Lupin pulled me over to one side to tell me how I was going to fit into the scene at Hogwarts.

"this is how it's going to work: no one knows what you are, and Dumbledore would like to keep it like that. When you get to hogwarts, go to his office. Ask Harry to take you, okay? He'll sort you into a house, then you go and sit with them. Tell them you moved from Durmstrang because you were bullied: that'll stop people questioning you on the school. And Darren-" he put a hand on my shoulder- "beware of Doleres Umbridge."

and with that we went back to the huddle, who were receiving sandwiches from Mrs. Weasley. I helped nearly everyone with their trunks- I would've shoved them all on at once, but it fell under the heading 'ways to make people suspicious that you're a vampire' so I didn't.

Harry was talking to Ron and Hermione, who were saying that they needed to go and do their prefect duties. I saw that Harry was pretty sad about this, and used the skills in tact I had learned from my deceased mentor had taught me.

"HARRRRRY! Har-Har, the H-man, hahaha!" I grinned psychotically and slapped him on the shoulder (carefully. Didn't want another thing under the heading of 'Ways to make people suspicious that I'm a vampire') "let's go sit down."

Harry raised his eyebrows and nodded. As we edged down the train, we met Ginny and a guy called Neville, a friend of Harry.

"hey" he said, holding out a hand to me "who are you?"

I accepted his hand, "Darren, Darren Shan." we continued shuffling down the train, till Ginny found us a compartment, with only one girl in the corner. Neville looked hesitant at entering, but Ginny dragged him in regardless.

The Girl in the corner was.... bizarre. And I know bizarre. But she still seemed.. I dunno. I just knew I liked her. She was like the fuzzynes you get in dreams, only in real life. Like in the Matrix, like a different program.[2]

She looked up at us. "Hello, Ginny." she said dreamily

"Hi, Luna. Can we sit down?"

"oh, yes."

"this" Ginny said, "is Luna Lovegood. She's in my year, but in Ravenclaw. Luna, this is Harry Potter-"

"I know." Harry leant over and shook her hand

"this is Neville." Neville didn't get up, he just waved uncertainly.

"I'm Darren." I went to shake her hand, but as I leant over, she grabbed my wrist and dragged my hands to her eyes. She squinted at the scars on my fingers- the standard mark of a vampire.

She can't possibly...

"oh my!" she said, releasing my hand, her eyes wide open making her look madder than ever, "You're a Vampire!"

[1] was anyone else upset that the Order didn't have a cool sky thing? The spell ment something in two languages like 'beacon' and 'hope'. But I forgot :p

[2] I recently didcovered the Matrix, and I DID NOT UNDERSTAND THE END!!! I asked loads of people, Not ONE KNOWS. If anyone tells me, I here do solemnly swear that i'll x whatever i'm doing and write a page of this.

DAMN I FORGOT THE DISCLAIMER!

I don't own Darren, but I could easily own Harry. But I don't. I also don't own the Matrix, the machines harvesting us at this very second do.

Also, hope you are all having a wonderful world book day, I had to steal my token. Damn lazy teachers.

PAIRINGS. guesses? :))) **unfurls a old scroll and steps onto a coveniently placed podium**

"FIRSTLY: HARRY POTTER AND.... Ginny Weasley!!!"

"SECONDLY: RONALD WEASLEY AND... Hermione Granger!!!"

"LASTLY: DARREN SHAN AND...

….

….

**Someone coughs**

….

**Baby cries**

LUUUUUUNA LOVEGOOD!!!"

whoowhoo! Can you feel the lurrrve?

No?

Well that's because I haven't writen it yet, you fools! Gosh, I gotta stop insulting you before you go and click that button. Which I know you WILL click. you WILL click it... won't you?

Toodle- oo!


	5. letting the dust Settle

...Sorry? I won't even try to condone the lateness of this. It is appalling, I know.

BUT!

To make sure no one has to wait this long agin, I want to inlist the assistance of one of you!

***all cower***

no, c'mon, it'll be cool! Like we're partners in crime! Oh wait, that post is already filled by Scotty. In fact, Scotty, you're on the team, weather you like it or not.

***Scotty looks up from eating chocolate bar and reading DS, and nods.***

I still want someone else from the rest of you!

The job will basically involve messaging me to keep writing, I may ask you to write short sections or proof read chapters. I t will help me sooo much if you agree to do this for me!

This will have many typos, if anyone would like to look through it and stuff so I can repost it, great! If not, I might get round to doing it in the hols. WHICH I'M STILL NOT IN!

I'm not gonna do the previous thing- Luna just looked at Darren's scars and said he was a vampire.

DSHPDSHPDSHPDSHPDHP

"No I'm not." I said immediately.

"yes, yes you are!" Luna's eyes lit up, and she switched on a rather manic grin. "oh, wow! Daddy heard about the war of scars! Who's winning?"

half of me wanted to sit down with a good ol' cuppa and chat with this girl about the war of scars, but it strongly fell under the heading of 'ways to make people suspicious that I'm a vampire' column.

"Battle of which now? Um, I like horror stories as much as the next person, but I'm not a vampire."

"OH! Sorry, I'm gonna reveal your identity to everyone, aren't I?" by now, my mental self was gaping at her/ crying at the pitiful amount of time I had spent keeping the secret. She made a exaggerated grin and said "I KNOW you're not a vampire..." and then winked. Which should have been really small, but she managed to stretch her whole face out into a HUGE wink.

And on that bombshell, she went back to her magazine.

Upside down.

I shrugged at the others."beats me." I told them. Ginny and Harry had freaked out expressions, but at least they laughed.

It was at that moment that the compartment door slid open, and three guys, the two bigger ones standing either side of a small guy.

"Poterrrrr..." small- slimy siad. "sitting around laughing manically again? Tut tut, no-one will want to be round you if they think you're mad you know..." Harry scowled and got up, but I intercepted him. "hey, Har? Cool it. Guy's probably very bored, and possibly a bit stalker-y if he knows which compartment you're in."

Small- slimy heard that, and sneered "and who, pray tell, are you?" his eyes took in my shabby clothes. I was getting a real bad vibe from this guy.

"the guy who'll kick you're sorry ass from here to next week if you don't get you and your ol' dancing boys on the road again, comprehend?" I said coolly.

Apparently Tweedledee and Tweedledum didn't like being refereed to as 'dancing boys' and expressed this through the medium of grunts.

I'm okay with a lot of things- I mean, being round the cirque you get used to someone having language problems. But these guys really, really hacked me off. I mean, seriously, couldn't they just throw in some adjectives together to at least attempt some verbal sparring? and then they could just go back to whatever the heck it is that they would usually do.

"watch it, whoever you are." slimy said, and his eyes flicked to Harry "later, Potty."

with that, he stalked off. "jeez, what was his problem?" I muttered as me and Harry went back to out seats.

"That" Harry scowled "was draco Molfoy. He's a-" Harry let stream a jet of colourful words, which everyone nodded at.

"That bad?" I asked.

"worse..." Ginny growled.

"steer clear of Draco, got it."

"and most Slytherins, actually." Nevvile added

"okay... anyone else?"

"Filch, the caretaker, Mrs Noris his cat, Professer Snape, umm... oh yeah, the stairs usually change, so watch out for that. And sometimes-" Neville obviously feared a lot of things. Or maybe I wasn't fearful enough...

"... and the theres moaning Myrtle..."

DSHPDSHPDSHPDSHPDSHP

"and that's about it... I think." about Half an hour Nevvile had completed his list of things for me to look out for. During his speech Ron and Hermione had come in from prefect duties, but Neville was too preoccupied with his venting, he didn't notice. Outside was dark now, and Ron had fallen asleep on Hermione's shoulder, but she was to engrossed in what she was reading to notice. Harry was staring blankly out of the window, and a yawned slightly. Ginny was petting crookshanks and listening to a wireless through some head phones. Luna however, had been paying attention to Nevvile's speech.

"um... wow." was all I trusted myself to say. "i'll look out for them..."

at this moment, Hermione snapped her book shut, the sound startling Ron awake.

"FR-GE-TWINS!" he yelped looking around. Hermionoe gave him a withered glance. He blushed and sat up straight.

"Hey, would anyone like to do this quiz from the quibbler?" Luna asked us. She looked so cute, I decided I would. I went over to sit by her.

"go on, then" I said. She grinned manically.

"oh, yay! Question one: are you human?"

"... deffo." she performed a huge wink again and marked off my answer

"question two: do you like jam and cheese?"

"yes." I had no idea what the quiz was about, and what Jam and cheese was about.

"question 3: apple or orange?"

"apple." I said without thinking. Everyone round the compartment were hosting their own little conversations by now, and no one was listening into ours

"animals or plants?"

"animals."

"vampire or human?"

"both-" she got me! "ah, noideawhatyou'retalkingaboutIdidn'tanswer,i'mhuman." but she was already grinning her Cheshire cat grin.

"oh! Half! That makes sense!" no one was listening, thank the gods. "hey, if you ever need to feed you can help yourself!" so much for the whole 'pretend to be normal student' plan.

I was just about ready to yell "i'm not wearing underwear and I love to snog my toe at midnight" to get her off my case, purely for a distraction, when Nevvile provided one for me.

He had been talking animatedly to Harry for a while about some plant he got for his birthday, and he'd poked it with his wand to show harry a cool trick it did. It turned out that this 'cool trick' had been showering us all in green pus. Nice.

So, there I was, in a tiny compartment with a crazed girl who was offering for me to suck her blood,covered in green gloop, when the compartment door slid open to reveal a -well- gorgeous girl.

" hey.." she began in a shy voice, and then took in the scene. "oh.. um... shall I, ur, come back later?" she said mainly to harry. Who sat there with his mouth open, goo splatting onto the floor with splat noises.

"that'd be lovely!" Ginny said, and if harry hadn't been so gob smacked, he right have heard the hint of sarcasm in her voice. She got up and shut the door sharply. I caught Hermiones eyes and we both raised out eyebrows in conspiracy.

Luna raised her wand and muttered 'evensaco!" and the goo vanished. She was so cool!

"oh, Harry, i'm so sorry!" Nevvile whimpered.

"it's cool" Harry sighed, and looked sadly at the door.

"no need to mope about it" Ginny said brightly, "let's get changed ,we'll be there soon!"

DSHPDSHPDSHPDSHPDHP

I looked at my reflection in the window (outside was completely pitch black) and did my top button up hastily- I was to go to the head teacher's office, so I didn't want to be scruffy. Finally, I did the buttons up, and turned to grab my stuff. Luna commented that my skin was slightly green, and that it was a sure sign that humtarz had tried possessing me in the past hour.

_Come on, Darren! It's just school. Easy._

I stepped on to the platform, into the cool refreshing night. Luna , who was holding Speed owl for Ron while he was doing his prefect duty, held my arm, and led me to some carriages drawn by-

"Charna's- uh, I mean, Merlins beard, what are those?" I asked disgustedly, though I was secretly Impressed with the horse-of-death deal.

"they're Theastrels. I think they're pretty."

"me too!" I said automatically. Luna raised her eyebrows. Thankfully, Ron came at that moment, and asked Luna for speed-owl. Phew.

"what d'you reckon?" Harry asked him, nodding at the theastrels.

"bout' what?" Ron asked

"the theastrels."

"huh? I don't see no birds."

"no, genius, not Kestral, theastral, the horses, there!" Harry said exasperated.

"what horses? They're pulling themselves like they always are." Ron frowned. "you feeling all right?"

"are you? Luna and Darren see them too!"

"um... I don't see anything, mate. Sorry." Ron said awkwardly. "shall we, y'know, go?" he asked.

I shrugged at Harry and went into the carriage.

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"Jazzies?" I asked the stone goyle, feeling very stupid. To my amazementit began to move, a stone escalator appearing for me to step onto.

A tall, rather severe looking woman had called me over when we came to the entrance hall, and took me kept giving me suspicious looks as we walked when she thought I wasn't looking . As a door came into view, I really began to become nervous.

_I, darren shan, slayer of boars, panthers and others, outwitted vampaneze, prince of vampires, was scared of school._

I needed a therapist. I opened the door, and walked into one of the oddest offices ever.

There were all sorts of machines, sculptures and books. Portraits moved around, talking to each other. A huge desk stood, and a name plate: 'dsfl dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts School of witch craft and wizardry'. Seated behind him was a old man, resembling the pictures of merlin I'd seen when I was researching wizardry.

He smiled and stood up. "Prince Darren Shan!" he smiled, and inclined his head towards me. Great. My headteacher was bowing at me.

"um, hey." some greeting, Darren. I moved forwards to shake hands. Dumbldore accepted it. He looked at me through his half moon glasses, and it was like he was reading my mind or something.

"please, have a seat." the chair opposite his desk pulled itself out as he spoke the words. I smiled nervously, and sat.

"so, Darren, we have much to discuss, but first I must sort you into a house." he pointed a long, thin finger to a manky old hat. "please, place this on your head." trying not to squirm, I did as he asked. On a normal day (well, as normal as my days were) I'd raise my eyebrows and say 'um... why?' but hey! This was magic land!

"nice reasoning..."

okay, that was different.

"hmmm, interesting. The evil that you can unleash through your selfishness would place you in slytherin... but the courage you use to defy would direct you to Gryffindor, while the quick wittedness places you to ravenclaw. You're very, very loyal... but...

"Gryrtfyndor!" I yelled out loud. Thee hat whispered "take me off now, Son of-" but I had already jerked the hat off. I placed carefully on the table.

"sorry, sir, what was-"

"the sorting hat," he said, standing up with the hat, and walking over to a perch, "sorts students into houses which best suit their personality." he murmured a few words, and out of the fire, a huge scarlet bird swooped towards the perch. dumbledore handed it the hat, and it cawed and flew out of the window.

"I am going to miss the sorting this year, as will you." he went to sit back down. "it is just first years who need to be sorted, and I think you may have found it rather embarrassing to have to go with them. In half an hour, I must go to the feast, but if you would like, you can wait in the entrance hall and slip back into the crowd as they come out."

"that's very thoughtful of you, sir." I said. He smiled warmly at me, and I felt a twinge of sadness at remembering how his smile was almost exactly the same as Mr. Creplsly.

"so, Darren, all staff members are aware that you are a vampire, but I need to alert you to one member of staff.

"Dolres Umbridge is from the ministry of magic is known for her hatred of half-breeds."

"oh. Would she prefer it if I was fully blooded?" I asked, smirking. Dumbledore chuckled

"indeed! Well, she will be looking out for any signs that you are dangerous, so be very careful. From what I remember of Seba-"

"you knew seba?"

"ah, yes! When we were both young lads, we'd run away from lynch mobs all the time. Those were the days..." he shook his head, lost in memories. "anyway, as I was saying- secrecy will be vital. No students can know about your being a vampire. It would also give the ministry and the public much more reason to not believe the truth they desperately need to."

"it's okay, I'm used to pretending to be, ur...human. It's just, my last school didn't go too well."

"really? Well, I sincerely hope that this will be more successful for you. Now, I must talk to you about your role in the war. What we have gathered is that..." for the next few minutes, I became lost in schemes and plans, ideas and crazed men. "so, put simply, the ministry will not allow us to fight, but that does not mean we won't ever be able to fight back. So, Prince Shan;" he said conclusively while getting up, "our plan is to get people to know you, and when people have finally started listening to sense, we will introduce the vampires as out allies. And they won't be scared of superstitions as they will have met you, and seen what a nice, normal person you are."

"make sense." I nodded. "but, sir, there is also something else, about the battle of the scars, which you should know about..." I told him about Steve, about what had happened at diagon alley, and he nodded. "if Steve attempts to attack the school to get to you, I will ask you to help defend the castle. But I do not think it will present much of a problem." he assured me.

"know, about your using magic.. if you simply use this fake wand" he pulled a piece of wood, like Harry's and gave it to me "and flick it when you need to cast a spell, and just use your hand for the actual spell..." he explained

"Dumbledore! It's time!" a portrait called down from his painting.

"ah, thank you, hickory*" he turned to me, and said "till we meet again." and walked away.

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the best thing about Ron's hair was that it made him simple to spot in a crowd. When I caught sight of him -apparently telling a first year that when he was the boy's age he'd been expected to fight trolls and devils snare (the guy seriously had no tact!)- Harry wasn't with him. I remembered his expression when Ron had told him that he had to go with the other prefects.

I hurriedly walked alongside a fellow Gryffindor, till I spotted Harry dodging into a small corridor. I raced (really raced, not holding back) till I got to him. Luckily, everyone was drowsy and just wanted to get to bed, so didn't give a damn about a bit of wind on their neck.

"Harry?" I said, tapping him on his shoulder. When he turned round to me, I saw that he looked pretty mad.

"you all right?" I asked.

"yeah..." he muttered "let's get to bed, huh?" he muttered. I decided not to ask.

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When we were in our dormitory, which was as cosy as HELL by the way, the problems began.

When me and Harry came in, he was in a really bad mood, as everyone had been pointing and staring at him, and the situation was made worse by his 'friends'. They obviously didn't believe Harry, but still wanted to find out what he thought happened.

"look, I'm not telling you, you don't believe me! So piss off!" Harry snarled at the boy (Seamus?)

"oi! Who the hell d'you think you're talking to?" he growled, snatching up his wand.

"what's going on here?" Ron came in looking between Harry and Seamus, both of them scowling and pointing their wands at each other.

"um, Seamus doesn't believe Harry about last June" I supplied, against my will. I so wanted to see a wizard duel!

"oh.. well, Seamus-" Ron began, but Seamus's attention, and the other boys, had been turned to me.

"who are you?" Seamus's friend asked

"transfer student from durmstang." Neville put in.

"yeah." I said

"why d'you move?"

"family issues." I said bluntly. He took the hint that I didn't want to talk about it.

Ron put a hand on Harry's shoulder, and steered him to his bed. They were great mates.

I snuggled down into my feather duvets and a smile slipped onto my face, as I finnaly felt comfortable to sleep after 's death.

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abrupt end, sorry...

so, the next chapter will be Darren meets people, makes enemies, learns stuff in class, and gets detention.

I also wrote a Alex Rider fic mocking the torrys-

OH MY GOD THEY GOT IN! :0 now for one of my little rants:

someone somewhere said this (spelling and grammar are as they wrote them):

'labour managed to start a war and double the country's national debt. Exuse me if they aren't my favorate...Tory through and through. Toodles!'

THAT'S ALL THEY HAD TO SAY! And so, I unleash this like a hosepipe on any tory supporters:

Minimum wage,Civil partnership,Fox hunting ban,Domestic violence laws,Peace in Northern Ireland ,Longest period of economic growth in recent history,Surestart,Tax credit,Disability discrimination act,Reduced hospital waiting lists,80,000 more nurses ,35,000 more doctors, including 5,300 extra family Gps, Overall crime is down 32% since 1997 according to independent statistics,14,000 more police officers on the streets, up 11% since 1997,A Safer Neighbourhood Team for every area in England & Wales,One million pensioners lifted out of poverty since 1997  
Free bus travel nationwide for the over 60s,Free NHS prescriptions and eye sight tests for the over 60s,From 2009, everyone over 60 will have free access to local swimming pools,Free television licences for the over 75s,The tax-free Winter Fuel Payment to every pensioner household. Now worth £250 for the over 60s, or £400 for the over 80s,Our Climate Change Bill is the first of its kind anywhere in the world, and will legally commit the UK to reducing CO2 emissions by at least 60% by 2050,The UK inow has the cleanest beaches, rivers, drinking water and air than at any time since before the industrial revolution,36,000 more teachers than in 1997,172,00 more classroom assistants,1,100 new schools built or old schools rebuilt,Funding per pupil has doubled since 1997  
More university students receiving a non-repayable grant than at any other time in history,The lowest basic rate of income tax in 75 years,Fewer working days lost due to industrial action than under the previous government,Independence for the Bank of England to set interest rates and control inflation,The National Minimum Wage now guarantees an income for the low-paid. Since we introduced it in 1999 and since we have increased it by 59%,Investment in railways now 2.5 times higher than in 1997,Train delays cut by 17%,Child Poverty halved from 3.6 million in 1998 to 1.6 million,Child Benefit increased by 26% since 1997,Families with children now on average £,1800 a year better off - the poorest families are nearly £4,500 per year better off,Child Trust Funds introduced by Labour, to give children future financial security,Free milk, fruit and vegetables for schoolchildren and healthy school meals for all.,Paid maternity leave increased to 52 weeks,Paid paternity leave for the first time.

AND NOW THE FATCATS ARE IN! die Cameron, DIE! And your forehead too! That thing should have it's own GRVAITY! And Cleggy, you W*ORE! Acted like every harlet in history! I can totally see the two of them getting jiggy in downing street! In the campaign I carried out noble work: saying "eeeeeew, conservatives" as I pased one of their cars (which was stuck in a one-way road. Bwah hah ha! Let's ee them get through that!) and when the guys were giving me pervy grins I called them PrIkzzz and told them they wouldn't get any votes from handsworth (whoops, just revealed where I live!)

BUT THEY STILL GOT IN! With Mcslut clegg. Die.

(I think I just spent a little long on that rant.)

so, this is the first main event of the new decade. Along with cadburys.

Write On xxx


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